We're About More Than Divorce

Parents can help children get through a divorce

When Oregon parents make the decision to divorce, they may worry about how best to help their children deal with the end of the marriage. Of course, many kids struggle to adjust, because it can bring a great deal of change and uncertainty in their lives. At the same time, kids who grow up in an unhappy, tense household due to their parents’ difficult relationship may absorb far more damaging messages about adult relationships. Experts emphasize that conflict is much more harmful to children than a divorce itself. If parents plan to help their children get through the separation, they can emerge with strong relationships following the divorce.

There are some ways that parents can aim to mitigate the changes that accompany the divorce. For example, they can work to keep their children in their current school district, at least for the ongoing academic year. They can also help support their children through open conversation that allows the offspring to have as much input into their own lives as possible. Psychologists also emphasize the importance of emphasizing that the divorce is a decision of the parents and not the fault of the children. Some kids may feel like they are to blame for the divorce or worry that their parents may leave them.

Parental love and reassurance can help to ameliorate these worries. In addition, despite the difficult relationship that may prevail between divorcing parents, it can be important for both to encourage a strong relationship with the other parent. Children should not feel forced to choose between their parents. There are a number of aspects of a divorce that can affect the parent-child relationship, including custody and visitation. A family law attorney can help negotiate a parenting plan that is in the best interests of the child.

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